it is not that I have lived,
it is that you have lived
but did not always
notice.

so I noticed
you
in a moment
you forgot.

my grandmother is forgetting
and we sit with her.
how I have learned
from her not knowing.

      name nothing
      that does not want to be named.

      do not explain
      just watch the world for chances.

      play tricks on those who believe
      exquisitely.

      pray simply,
      hands moving together without words.

this surprised me.
I've never seen her
like that—
a fragile of beauty.

so be careful
it will break your heart
it will be too much to pass on.

children
are a trick
we play on ourselves.

a better promise
to believe and keep
without confusion.

but even shame has its blessing
a warm blanket you can hide under
while you figure yourself out

there is still a chance
while my father is alive
to be seen by him
for him to behold me
for longer than I expect him to be able.

and I think of you
and I want you to know
I behold you

peering back at me
from under the blanket
knowingly.

Winter 2026