a way you cannot go

I love you.
I’m telling you this because I died tonight
or nearly did
or noticed death may surprise me soon.

maybe the reason doesn’t matter.
I love you.

I’m scared to say it
I’m scared
sometimes too often
sometimes not enough—when saying this feels like touching a wound
I love you in overflowing sorrow and ache.

in the sunshine of that day when I looked at you,
I knew again—

and I don’t know how to speak it
these words I’m given
aren’t enough
I hope you felt it flow to you
because, for me, it did
and I know it
and though I am dying now
I just needed to say
once more
I love you
I am sorry
I am going
a way you cannot go

I’ll meet you there
and I love you.